“Mom—it’s not just a word, it’s a whole world of emotions. For a first-time mom, it carries a million feelings that only another mother can truly connect with.

When I found out I was going to be a mom, the joy was beyond words. As a couple, we were over the moon, ready to welcome our little one into our lives. We dreamed of exploring the world together, sharing warm family dinners, laughing, fighting and making up, cuddling close, and showering endless love on each other. The list of little joys and big dreams just kept growing.

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed – Linda Wooten

Labor

The day I was admitted to the hospital, I had no idea how painful the journey ahead would be.

As I lay on the hospital bed, I couldn’t help but wonder, why do women, knowing the pain of labor, still choose to go through it again for another child? But a few months after my son’s birth, I understood. What once felt unbearable now seemed beautiful.

I was humbled by the kind words and praises from friends and family for enduring a vaginal delivery. And I know there are many women who feel fearful of attempting it, worried about the pain they might face.

To them, I want to say this, what gave me strength was holding onto thoughts of my baby, dreaming of life with him, and trusting that my body was capable of bringing him safely into the world. That trust turned my fear into courage. In that moment, I witnessed the true strength a woman carries within her.

When they placed my son before me, as I lay there exhausted and covered in blood, I felt an indescribable relief, a joy that this tiny human had finally come out of me. In that moment, I felt both happy and powerful.

I had often heard people say that childbirth is like a rebirth for the mother. And yes, it truly was a rebirth for me. From that day, so much changed, physically, emotionally, and mentally. I stepped into motherhood not as the same woman, but as someone completely new.

The Reality

A flood of thoughts started rushing through my mind, How will I take care of him? How do I hold him right? How do I soothe him when he cries? I did everything I could with all the strength I had, but I soon realized that some things are simply not in our control.

Sleep, for example, is one of the biggest mysteries of parenting. There’s no single, defined method to make a baby sleep. What works like magic for one baby might not work at all for another. And sometimes, what worked perfectly yesterday won’t work today.

One night, singing a lullaby might send him to dreamland, but the next night he may want me to rock him, or even dance around the room! Babies can’t tell us what they need with words, so we parents are left trying every possible trick and gimmick. And let me tell you—it takes a lot of patience and hard work.

Prioritize Yourself

Before my delivery, I promised myself a few things. I knew there would be challenges I couldn’t control, sleepless nights, breastfeeding struggles, and the never-ending judgments about what kind of mother I should be. But I decided that none of this should break me.

There will always be friends, neighbors, or cousins ready to judge and criticize. I chose not to give them my ears. That didn’t mean I thought I could do everything alone, it meant I trusted myself to eventually figure out my own way of parenting.

As a new mommy, I knew nothing at first. But I was willing to learn, to listen, to take advice and suggestions. Still, at the end of the day, I researched, reflected, and made the choices that felt right for my baby. If someone judged me for that, I didn’t mind. Because I am his mother and that makes me a thousand times more certain about him than anyone else ever could be.

So dear mommies, if you let criticism creep in, it can affect not just you, but also your baby and even your relationship with your family. Don’t give it that power. Instead, protect your peace, protect your family, that’s what matters most.

Postpartum

As the days passed, I began to feel a strange insecurity about my baby. My emotions were overwhelming, and the deep love I had for him slowly shifted into possessiveness. I wanted to do everything for him, bathing, feeding, comforting. Apart from my parents and my husband, I wasn’t comfortable letting anyone else care for him.

Alongside this, another thought kept haunting me, He’s going to grow up so fast. One day, he’ll be independent. He may not come running back to me. He might not need me the way he does now.

These feelings began weighing me down every single day. I knew this stage was still far away, yet the fear started the very moment my son was born.

Save Your Relationship

After a few months of our baby’s arrival, I began noticing differences between my husband and me. We argued more often, and our opinions clashed. But during those arguments, I discovered something new in myself, patience. I don’t know where it came from, but I was grateful for it. When I shared this with a friend, she simply said, “You’ve become a mother, that’s where your patience comes from.” I believe she was right.

Eventually, my husband and I decided to sit down and talk openly. We realized the root of our problems, he was drowning in work, I was overwhelmed by postpartum changes, and the distance between us only made things harder. Once we identified it, things became clearer. Sadly, many couples don’t take the time to see the reality, instead, they jump to conclusions too quickly and sometimes end their relationship.

To every man out there, I want to say this, women go through so much, both mentally and physically, after childbirth. What she needs most from you is understanding. A single word of comfort from you can mean more to her than anything else. She doesn’t expect it from the world, she expects it from you.

As for me, my insecurities kept growing day by day. But I had my husband by my side. I could share everything with him, and he would listen. He reminded me that my fears were valid but also reassured me: “You’ll let go when you realize your son will always come back to you, no matter how much he grows up.”

I wanted to believe him, I hoped it would be true. Deep down, I knew my heart wasn’t ready to accept it yet, but his words gave me the strength to hold on.

Motherhood

As days went by and I spent more time with my little one, I realized something important, no matter what, at the end of the day, my son always came back to me, even after spending time with many others. Slowly, my insecurities began to fade. I started to feel joy in watching him bond with everyone around him.

Because at the heart of it, what matters most to a mother is simple, her child’s happiness.

I won’t say my insecurities have completely disappeared. They still linger, and maybe they always will. But now, they no longer weigh me down or affect those around me. I’ve started accepting things as they are, with peace in my heart.

Every day, I feel like I’m growing alongside my son. His tiny, innocent face and his pure little heart have taught me to unlearn so many things I once thought were true. Through his small eyes, I’ve begun to see the world in a whole new way.

And that, I believe, is the most beautiful part of being a first-time mom.

xoxo,

Mita