As the ray of morning sunlight breaks into the room, penetrating through the curtain, and falls soft on my face beneath the quilt, a moaning sound awakes me up to see my son staring, just lying next to me with a wide smile on his face. That’s the best morning view of my life.

The very next moment, my mobile notification chimes, reminding me to log in to work. Ruined, disturbed, and couldn’t anymore enjoy the morning view in peace, and the anxiety started to kick in.

When things were getting hard managing both my kid and work, I was pushed to a stage where I felt hard to breathe, stressed, and I was sinking. However, not being able to meet the deadline at the office, frequently indulging in my laptop, and not being able to pay attention to my child, drenched me in mom guilt.

Every single day I would give a thought to resigning but after a few hours of serious thought, I would give myself some pep talk to return to work. In a week, again from scratch, the same pressure would build up, yet I never mustered the courage to confidently resign and be with my child full time.

I worked for 9 years, and I had my ups and downs in my career, the thought of resigning had just not hit me not even once until I became a mother. Being a protective mom, I always wanted to give him my full attention, my son became my priority, and my work was my secondary concern.

Saying that, I believe I am ambitious, and always wanted to pursue something or the other until my fingers ceased functioning. It wasn’t easy for me to give up my career which I had built for myself working for years. Work gave me sanity, confidence, friends, and knowledge. So I was very skeptical about quitting my job.

Simultaneously, I am aware it’s just a brief break until my kid needs my full attention, I might miss quite a few things at work, benefits I got through my work but in contrast, I can stay with my kid at peace, I can give him my undivided attention, I can never get back this irreplaceable time of him, where he runs to hug me and blabber things in his language.

These were the thoughts constantly bouncing back and forth in my head. On the other side, I was very much worried about the society. The place where I live, and the people I live with have an ideology that working women are superior in status when compared to women who stay at home. It’s just now the patriarchy is diminishing here but still women are thriving to let everybody know that, staying at home is not easy, taking care of an entire house is not easy, and managing the family and family members it’s not easy. Women staying at home are equally working hard as women or men getting out to work.

Until I was employed, I didn’t realize this biased society, but when I decided to quit my job, the first thought that crossed my mind was, “Will I be perceived differently. The thought of maintaining my job to be seen as a “superior woman” crossed my mind. Additionally, losing financial independence meant relying entirely on my husband for everything.

These thoughts lingered incessantly in my mind. Although I strongly desired a break for myself and considered quitting, societal pressures echoed persistently. Everyone, including my cook, urged me not to resign, emphasizing the importance of maintaining financial independence for the sake of respect.

Insecurities filled my thoughts

Would I secure another job if I quit now?

Could I maintain my sanity spending all day with my toddler?

Might this decision disrupt my relationship?

Although my husband supported my choice to quit and gave me the leverage to decide, I still had doubts about the impact of financial dependence on our relationship.

In the past few months, I felt the corporate life was monotonous for me, I was wondering, why don’t take this period to find out what I like and what I want to do in life where I can work at my own pace rather a typical 9 to 6 job.

One fine day, I decided for myself, how others can define my life, how can I be so unwise to allow them to ruin my peace of mind? I calmly listened to all their advice and decided to resign the very next day. A few pieces of advice that I received felt valid, and I kept those considerations in mind.

I decided for myself, that I was ready to face the consequences that may come my way. Being financially dependent on my husband, it’s not a big deal, if it’s his money, it’s our money. I work my ass to keep the house clean, I put my strength to keep the house calm to create a peaceful environment for him after work. I burn my fingers to cook him sumptuous food. I believe I deserve to ask for money without any guilt, considering the contributions I put forward to our household.

I remember a message that caught my eyes scrolling through Instagram, sharing it here with you people.

After so much thought and if’s and but’s I decided to QUIT. To quit what I was doing currently. Yes you heard it right. To step away from my current job, not to conclude my carrer.

Following the submission of my resignation letter I had two months of notice period. Initially, I aimed to take some time off to relax before embarking on something new. I realized quitting was not my thing, might be I was insecure about quitting.

I decided to do something which I enjoy, aiming to find my true calling. I don’t know what it is, but I know I will have to start somewhete. Financial aspect is not my concern right now, instead being present for my kid whenever he needs me.

I would watch him make the house messy rather than organize my work desk

I would shout at him and cuddle him back rather than putting on a fake smile for my client at work

I would play hide and seek with my kid rather than getting appreciated at work

I would be all untidy the whole day playing with my kid rather than being perfectly dressed to work

I ought to maintain my sanity at the same time, so decided to do something which I enjoyed, during the little amount of time on my hand. There I refound my interest in certain areas which I was doing as a hobby. Unfortunately, I lost touch with it after my pregnancy.

I don’t feel intimidated about being unemployed currently. Unaware of what the future holds for me. I am clueless regarding where my current path will lead. I am putting my effort into everything I have ventured into. Very much eager for this new, exciting journey. Being a stress-free mommy is my greatest gift now.

Xoxo,

Mita