After two years of being a parent, I have lots to cherish and lament as well. Are you ready to hear?😆

We celebrated our son’s second birthday. As a mom, mixed emotions were running through my mind when the knife sliced through the three-tire-themed cake. The cow’s fondant placed on the cake fell on the horse’s head on the cake, where my son looked at me immediately amidst his friends and cousins singing him “Happy Birthday to you” and said, Amma, look, the cow fell! I was happy that the hefty amount I paid for the cake had paid off, finally catching my son’s attention.

On the day of my labour, before heading to the hospital, I and my husband recorded a video capturing our emotions about the arrival of our little one. We said, “Love you” to the baby who was yet to come into the world.

On the day before he turned 2, I just reminisced about the day of my labour. I was telling my husband that, “a year ago, the same day we were getting ready to the hospital” but my husband stopped me halfway and corrected me, “It’s 2 years ago not a year before”. Then it hit me hard that he is freaking two, my son has grown up so much, I found the corner of my eyes were moist.

As coming to reality, it is very true as the saying goes, “terrible two”.

Screaming Mode

As a parent, I have been cautious about how I talk with my kid. I have been talking to him as I have spoken to one big man. Since the day he was born. I have treated this little human as an adult. I have shared my thoughts with him and you know what he has always understood my words and my actions. Kids surprise us each day.

A year ago, he was crawling with his four legs, but today he is curious about everything. He wants to find and dig things lying around. When he does something off and when I tell him not to do that, he is an obedient kid who listened to me a year ago. Today, he swiftly walks away with his two legs.

He runs nook and corner

Gets hit by every small object nearer

Slips on toys lying on the floor further

I am left with no other option but to raise my voice to grab his attention. Round the clock, I am in screaming mode, “Don’t climb the stairs, run slowly, walk carefully”, etc.

In the journey of screaming mode, I lost both my voice and patience. When I wake up in the morning, well rested, as the day begins, I tell him, “Baby, please don’t do that”, When it’s midday, it becomes, “Krshiv don’t do it”, and at the end of the day, I scream,“ Why the hell are you doing this” 😁. It seems to be funny when I write this, but the struggle is real. Later, I try to calm myself. It is so true that kids always don’t react the same, and so do the parents as well.

Independence

I could feel a slight ting of independence, from both sides, I mean, he being independent and I being or having independent time for me away from my son for a while. I have seen him playing with his toys independently, eating without needing our supervision, dressing himself in his t-shirt and shorts, and even sitting on his potty seat without assistance. It’s remarkable to see him do these things on his own. He’s become quite the little helper around the house, even reminding me when things need tidying up and eagerly grabbing the broom to help out.

Now I have got some time for myself, I can dress myself up with decent clothes and put some makeup on. It has been ages since I have felt like a woman wearing clean clothes. For almost a year and a half, I lived in my pyjamas. While we dress up to step out I am unsure how the time was up when I finished dressing up my son. I would get barely a few minutes to dress up at the last minute. My son would look like a model with a cool hairstyle and a fancy dress rather I look like a woman from poverty.

Learning New Things

He is curious to know more about his surroundings. As he can comprehend the language we speak, he has become quite a good observer, just opening his mouth and staring at us keenly to observe what we speak. After two years of talking to him in our mother tongue, I could see him reply to us with his cute little language.

He mastered driving scooters and pushing cars with his legs. I have seen him from how he started tip-toeing and moving slowly to confidently driving fast. As a mother, I felt overwhelmed, watching my son grow.

He toes the scooter swiftly, and I will have to run behind him. I don’t tell him not to drive faster but will tell him to drive carefully, provided I am next to him. I can see the excitement on his face when he drives fast. He looks at me and beams showing his teeth. Seeing the happiness in his face matters. I believe that he wants to experience things and learn on his own. If I stop him from speeding and want him to drive slowly, he is gonna try it behind my back one day. Let kids explore things on their own, I can stay next to him to protect him. After coming back home he tells his dad “ I drove faster and faster” with all excitement and happiness about achieving something big.

I have been learning new things along with my son. As I said earlier, letting my son experience new things and learn by himself was one thing I valued. I have always been a protected child since childhood. I didn’t get to experience lots of things on my own. It was a straight no. I envied the thrill my son experienced when trying out the unknown. I missed the feeling of adrenaline rush when trying out something new, I lacked the skill of sorting out things on my own and how it feels to go through the entire process until it’s figured out. That made me realize, that I should let my son figure things out on his own from a very young age.

I learned to control my emotions, considering he might learn from me. He makes me sometimes look at the world in awe. I try to be more disciplined and organized (though I have not attained 20% of that) but making an effort from my end is what I consider.

Finally coming to the lamenting part of motherhood. I think it is never-ending until he leaves the house and finds one for himself. One of the most challenging parts of my son’s toddlerhood is to make him sleep throughout the night. He still wakes up often in the middle of the night and just wanna sleep right on Mama’s lap, there you go, no sleep mama. I have yearned to sleep peacefully for two years now, but I couldn’t see any light under the tunnel yet.

Second, he is always in the playing mode.

when it’s time to leave the park he wants to play some more time, but does not want to come home.

When it’s time to wash up after eating, he still wants to play with the food, though he feels sleepy.

When it’s time to get out of a bath, he wants some more time in the water even after done bathing.

When it’s time to dress up, he wants to wear the dress by himself, though he has put the t-shirt inside out.

The list goes on.

One of the best things is that the floors are poop and pee-free since he goes to potty at the right time. As I said earlier, his growing independence had granted me a little bit of my own.

I am learning new things each day alongside him. The best part is, I have gained new friends, do you want to know who they are? Moms of my son’s friends:) Again, it’s my son who gained me friends.

Watching him grow every day is the best part. Though I struggle with new challenges each day at the end of the day when he sleeps, I feel I have never had enough time with my sunshine, who gives us a bundle of joy each day. Might be that is motherhood I hope. I am still not done lamenting, but I feel pity for you, so I am stopping it here and sending lots of love to all mommies out there.

Xoxo,

Mita